Weird Sh*t Indeed: A Donald Trump Pop Quiz How well do you remember the first Trump term? For most, it's either "Not well, it was a blackout the whole time" or "Spiritually speaking, it never stopped and I'll be living under it until my dying breath." No in between. Maybe you're among the half of the country's voters who think back on his presidency with hearts in your eyes. But are you sure, like *absolutely* sure, you remember his first term clearly? No harm in testing your memory. In case you get trumped, answers are at the bottom. 1. We'll start with something easy. In his inaugural address on January 20, 2017, Trump offered a dark vision of the country he described as "American carnage." What did former president George W. Bush remark on the dais afterward? A. "Mission Accomplished." B. "Nice strategy." C. "That was some weird shit." D. "A leadership is someone who brings people together." 2. In 2016, when it was at $19 trillion, Trump shared his plans to eliminate the national debt in its entirety in eight years. How'd that go? A. Great! As you know, the United States no longer carries any national debt. B. It rose by $7.8 trillion while he was in office. C. Why are you being so negative? At least we earned a lot of airline miles. 3. Feeling warmed up? Here's a tougher one: What was "infrastructure week"? A. Trump's successfully executed plan to pump $2 trillion into infrastructure modernization. B. Trump's successfully executed plan to make everyone think he cared about infrastructure modernization without spending a cent. C. A way to deflect attention from former FBI director James Comey's investigation into alleged collusion between Russia and the Trump campaign. D. No idea, can you figure it out? 4. While boarding her plane to visit children who had been separated from their parents at the U.S.-Mexico border, First Lady Melania Trump was photographed wearing a $39 jacket that said what on the back? A. "Live. Laugh. Love." B. "I'm with stupid." C. "I really don't care, do U?" D. "The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold the rope." 5. In his first briefing as White House press secretary, Sean Spicer claimed Trump enjoyed "the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period, both in person and around the globe." How big was that audience? A. About twice as many as attended Obama's in 2009. B. This is a very unfair, biased question from the radical leftist media. C. 330 million. D. About half as many as attended Obama's in 2009. 6. Before taking office, Trump told the American people that he'd be too busy working on their behalf to play golf. How many rounds did The Washington Post estimate that he actually played in his four years? A. 261, nearly all of which were on Trump-branded properties. B. 261, or more than twice as many as Obama played in his first term. C. 261, at an estimated cost to the American taxpayer of around $141 million. D. All of the above. 7. Which of the following did Trump suggest as a way to combat Covid during its spread? A. Doing nothing. It'll magically disappear. B. Injecting patients with disinfectant, "almost like a cleaning," where it "does a tremendous number on the lungs." C. Off-label use of the anti-malarial drug hydroxychloroquine, which researchers linked to nearly 17,000 deaths in 2020. D. Shining a very bright light at patients, "which you can do either through the skin or in some other way." E. All of the above. 8. As Covid cases rose in the United States in early 2020, Trump's HHS secretary tapped a specialist in which field to lead response operations? A. Infectious disease. B. Labradoodle breeding. C. Fish-tank maintenance. D. Direct-to-consumer mattress sales. 9. Match the Trump praise to the autocrat about whom he said it. 1. North Korea's Kim Jong Un 2. Hungary's Viktor Orban 3. Turkey's Recep Tayyip Erdogan 4. Russia's Vladimir Putin A. "Like me, a little controversial, but that's okay." B. "We fell in love." C. He's running a very difficult part of the world. He's involved very, very strongly and, frankly, he's getting very high marks." D. "I always knew he was very smart!" 10. When Trump hosted the Clemson University Tigers football team at the White House's State Dining Room, what did he serve the 2019 national champions for dinner? A. Butter-poached quail egg and heirloom-tomato soup to start, followed by Montana- raised short ribs in a stone-fruit reduction, with rosemary and baked garlic, all under silver. B. 300 fast-food burgers and a bunch of Filet-O-Fishes. C. Actual tiger meat. 11. Which of the following did Trump pardon? A. Former Dick Cheney chief of staff Scooter Libby, who was convicted of obstruction in 2007. B. Former Trump campaign chair Paul Manafort, sentenced for conspiarcy against the United States, witness tampering, and tax fraud. C. Charles Kushner, Ivanka's father-in-law, who pleaded guilty to tax evasion. D. Roger Stone, Trump friend (probably) and known clotheshorse, for crimes against fashion/lying to Congress. E. All of the above. 12. At the conclusion of his presidency, Trump claimed to have built 450 miles of big, beautiful wall between the United States and Mexico. How much new wall did he actually complete? A. 450 miles. Huge success. B. About 80. C. All 2,000 miles of it, but to save on materials, it's only four feet high. 13. In 2019, Trump asked his advisors to look into the possibility of doing which of the following to Greenland? A. Drilling for natural gas in the fjords outside the town of Tasilaq. B. Opening a Trump-branded resord in the fjords outside the town of Tasilaq. C. Merging it with Iceland. D. Invading it with "lots of troops, they're sitting around, doing nothing, they should be doing something there." E. Buying it from Denmark. 14. Upon losing the 2020 election, which of the following actions did Trump take? A. Conceded the election gracefully with an address that President Bush called "super presidential." B. Begrudgingly praised President-elect Biden on "finally winning this thing after losing so many times." C. Tweeted "I WON THIS ELECTION, BY A LOT!" then demanded that Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensberger "find 11,780 votes" that would enable him to win the state's electoral votes, then appeared at a rally in his honor outside the White House as Congress prepared to certify the election results, then called the election a fraud, then demanded that Vice President Mike Pence reject the election results, then goaded a mob of supporters into violently breaking into the Capitol. ----- ANSWER KEY: 1. C 2. B 3. D, and probably a fair amount of C 4. C 5. D 6. D 7. E 8. B 9. 1-B, 2-A, 3-C, 4-D 10. B, although Trump disputes this number. In a tweet the following morning, he wrote that he served them "1000 hamberders." 11. E 12. B 13. E 14. C - ESQUIRE, 10/24. ### Return to |
