Resume of Donald J. Trump

DONALD J. TRUMP
1313 Mockingbird Lane
West Palm Beach, Florida

After a career as a real estate hustling Manhattan playboy (when even one of the casinos I 
owned went bankrupt) and numerous product endorsement scams (including Trump University for
which I was successfully sued for fraud), I was a reality TV show host for several years and 
then became elected the 35th president of the United States after championing the racist and 
disproven "Birther" conspiracy theory about current president Barack Obama. Under my 
presidency, the economy lost 2.9 million jobs. The unemployment rate increased by 1.6 
percentage points to 6.3%. The international trade deficit I promised to reduce went up. The 
number of people lacking health insurance rose by 3 million. The federal debt held by the 
public went up -- from $14.4 trillion to $21.6 trillion -- despite my promise to eliminate it 
in eight years. Illegal immigration increased -- illegal border crossings, as measured by 
apprehensions at the Southwest border, were 14.7% higher in my final year in office compared 
with the last full year before I was sworn in. Coal production declined 26.5%, and coal-mining 
jobs dropped by 16.7%. The murder rate in my last year rose to the highest level since 1997 -- 
murders and aggravated assaults shot up dramatically under my administration, while most other 
types of crime declined. After grossly mismanaging the COVID epidemic -- first by ignoring it 
and then by denying it for months which caused the unnecessary deaths of half a million 
Americans -- I ended my presidency with an economy that had 2.9 million fewer jobs than when 
I started -- becoming the first president in modern times to experience a net loss of jobs 
over my time in office. When I left office, there were 154,000 fewer people employed in 
manufacturing than when I became president. The real GDP declined 3.4% in 2020 from the 
previous year, the largest drop since 1947. In foreign policy, I heaped praise on several 
ruthless autocrats around the world, including North Korea's Kim Jong Un, Russia's Vladimir 
Putin, Hungary's Viktor Orban and Turkey's Tayyip Erdogan. During my term I played an estimated 
261 rounds of golf, despite telling people as a candidate in 2016 I would be too busy working 
on their behalf to play golf.

In November 2024, after inciting a riot at the U.S. Capitol in Washington almost four years 
earlier for which I was impeached by the House for the second time, I was elected to a second 
term as president, defying all logic, common sense and political gravity. Because evidently 
Americans still weren't "tired of winning" as I once promised them.

(To be updated.)

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