THE REPUBLICAN DICTIONARY

ACTIVIST JUDGE, n. A judge who attempts to protect the rights of 
minorities--most especially homosexuals--against the tyranny of the 
majority. (Contributed by Amy Mashberg, Austin, Texas)

ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES, n. New locations to drill for oil and gas. 
(Peter Scholz, Fort Collins, Colorado)

CIVIL LIBERTIES, n. Unnecessary privileges that you aren't afraid of 
losing unless you are a God-hating, baby-killing, elitist liberal who 
loves Saddam Hussein more than your own safety. (Megan Ellis, 
Bellingham, Washington)

CLIMATE CHANGE, n. Global warming, without that annoying suggestion that 
something is wrong. (Robert Shanafelt, Statesboro, Georgia)

DEATH TAX, n. A term invented by anti-tax zealots and referring to a tax 
used to prevent the very wealthy from establishing a dominating 
aristocracy in this country. (David McNeely, Lutz, Florida)

DEMOCRATIC ALLY, n. Any democracy, monarchy, plutocracy, oligarchy or 
dictatorship--no matter how ruthless--that verbally supports American 
diplomatic and economic goals. (L.J. Klass, Concord, New Hampshire)

DEREGULATE, v. To pursue greed and exploitation. (Nathan Taylor, Long 
Beach, California)

DETAIN, v. Hold in a secret place without recourse to law and treat in 
any manner one wishes. (Jeannine Bettis, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma)

ECONOMIC PROGRESS, n. 1. Recession; 2. Rising unemployment; 3. 
Minimum-wage freeze. (Terry McGarry, East Rockaway, New York)

FAITH-BASED INITIATIVE, n. Christian Right Payoff. (Michael Gendelman , 
Fair Haven, New Jersey)

FAMILY VALUES, n. Oppression of women. (Nancy Matsunaga, Brooklyn, New York)

FOX NEWS, n. White House Press Office. (Donnalyn Murphy, San Francisco, 
California)

HARD WORK, n. What Republicans say when they can't think of anything 
better. (Brain McDowell), Durham, North Carolina)

INSURGENT, n. Armed or unarmed, violent or non-violent Iraqi on the 
receiving end of an American rocket blast or bullet spray, regardless of 
age, gender or political affiliation. (Joey Flores, Marina del Ray, 
California)

MODERNIZE, v. To do away with, as in modernizing Social Security, labor 
laws, etc. (Robert Sean Roarty, Atlanta, Georgia)

OBSTRUCTIONIST, n. Any elected representative who dares to question 
Republican radicals on the issue of the day. (Terry Levine, Toronto, 
Ontario)

OWNERSHIP SOCIETY, n. A society in which Republican donors own the rest 
of us. (Adrianne Stevens, Seattle, Washington)

PRIVATIZE, v. To steal the resources of the national community and give 
them to private business. (Susan Dyer, Ottsville, Pennsylvania)

REFORM, v. To eliminate, as in tort reform (to eliminate all lawsuits 
against businesses and corporations) or Social Security and Medicare 
reform (to eliminate these programs altogether). (Darren Staley, Millers 
Creek, North Carolina)

STRICT CONSTRUCTIONIST, n. A judge with extremely conservative beliefs, 
who interprets laws in a manner that fits his/rarely-her own belief 
systems, while maintaining that this was the original intent of the law. 
(Floyd Doney, Athens, Ohio)

SUPPORT THE MILITARY, v. To praise Bush when he sends our young men and 
women off to die for no reason and without proper body armor. (Marc 
Goldberg, Vancouver, Washington)

TAX REFORM, n. The shifting of the tax burden from unearned income to 
earned income, or rather, from the wealthy elite to the working class. 
(Eric Evans, Gregory, Michigan)

TORT REFORM, n. Corporate immunity and impunity. (Sue Bazy, 
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

UNITER, n. A Leader who brings together his followers by fomenting 
hatred for anyone who disagrees with him. (Larry Allred, Las Cruces, New 
Mexico)

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