Dear Friend,
My name is...unimportant. Last September my car was repossessed, my
wife left me, my dog died, and I lost my job; I started thinking of
becoming a country-western songwriter. The only escape I had from the
pressure of failure, apart from watching the Simpsons, was my computer and
my modem. I longed to turn my avocation into a vocation (or was it a
vacation into an avocation? A vocation into a vacation?? How about an
avocado into a kumquat?).
This January I went on a ten-day cruise to Omaha. I bought me a car, and
a dog, and a wife, and a job for CASH in August. I am currently building a
home on the West Coast of Florida, a small intimate place with 35 bedrooms,
3 kitchens, and a room that I can just eat breakfast in (it's a necessity).
I will never have to work again (as if you call what I've been doing up to
this point working). Today I am rich! Rich! RICH! Filthy rich! Wallowing in
moolaa! Grovelling through greenbacks! Drivelling in dollars! But I digress.
I have earned over $400,000,000,000 (four and a bunch of zeroes) to date
and will become even more rich within 4 or 5 months. Anyone can do the same
(except you, yeah, you -- you over there in Topeka picking your nose!). This
money-making program works perfectly every time, 100% of the time, 120% of
the time. I have NEVER failed to earn $50,000.00 or more whenever I wanted.
Don't believe me? Watch -- SEE!!?? I just made $50,453 just now. Best of all
you never have to leave home except to go to your mailbox or post office or
to buy toilet paper or visit your mother.
In October, I received a letter in the mail telling me how I could earn
$50,000 dollars or more whenever I wanted. SEE!!??-- there it goes again;
I just made $51,342 just now. I was naturally very skeptical and threw the
letter on the desk next to my computer (why I leave the computer on the
floor and not put it on top of the desk I'll never know). It's funny though,
when you are desperate, backed into a corner, your mind does crazy things;
made me start to think. And then I spent a frustrating day looking through
the want ads for a job with a future. But all I saw were jobs. The pickings
were sparse at best, e.g., software engineer -- $60K starting salary --
rather depressing. That night I tried to unwind by booting up my computer
and calling several bulletin boards ("Yoo-hoo, Prodigy! Hey, Compuserve!").
When that didn't work, I tried dialing into some of them. I read several of
the message posts and then glanced at the letter next to the computer. All
at once it came to me like a bad case of food poisoning. I now had the key
to my dreams.
I realized that with the power of the computer (100 watts) I could expand
and enhance this money making formula into the most unbelievable cash flow
generator that has ever been created. I substituted the computer bulletin
boards in place of the post office and electronically did by computer what
others were doing 100% by mail -- sucking up people's time with unwanted
nuisance advertisements and schemes. Now only a few letters are mailed
manually just for old time's sake. Most of the hard work is speedily
downloaded to other bulletin boards throughout the world. Ah, the feeling
of power! If you believe that someday you deserve that lucky break that you
have waited for all your life for but never had the balls to go out and
work hard and make it happen through honest sweat and initiative, simply
follow the easy instructions below. Your dreams will come true.
Trust me,
A. Friend
INSTRUCTIONS
Follow these instructions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will have
received well over $50,000.00 in cash or gold bullion, all yours. This
program has remained successful because of the honesty and integrity of the
participants (and a commitment to not mention this program to the police).
Please continue its success by carefully adhering to the instructions.
Welcome to the world of Mail Order! This little business is a little
different than most mail order houses. Your product is not solid and
tangible, but rather a service, just like bookmaking. You are in the
business of financial transactions. Many large corporations do "financial
transactions". Can you say "financial transactions"?
Place $25,000 in small bills in a brown paper bag (yes, the bag must be
brown; no other color will do), and deposit it behind the trashcan near
the corner of 7th and Main in downtown West Coast, Florida. Then write a
postcard notifying the first person on the list below that you've done
this (it's a small list for your convenience):
1. Occupant
1457 Sunstroke Court
West Coast, Florida 00000001
I will pickup, err, a trusted person will take receipt of this money. The
money will then be taken to Hialeah and bet on horse number 5 in the fifth
race to win (ha! I fooled you! Number 5 is NOT my favorite number; I just
pulled it out of thin air).
The winnings will be split a fair 60/40 and your 40% will be returned to
you minus a small carrying charge and shipping and handling costs and
state and federal taxes and import duties and title control fees and
taxicab fares.
The following letters were written by participating members in this program:
I didn't believe the letter when I received it but decided to give it a try
anyway. Lo and behold, the money started flowing in! My wife and I couldn't
believe it! Now we're rolling in cash, I can buy that Winnebago I always
wanted, and we can travel to Des Moines to visit Martha's uncle on her
mother's side like we've always wanted. You CAN realize your dreams.
Sincerely,
Dim Hedlite
El Segundo, Calif.
Another letter:
I've had a lot a time on my hands lately and I came across this great letter
promising money-making opportunities. I was skeptical at first, but
sometimes you have to throw caution to the wind. I couldn't believe the
results! Now I know the direction I must take in my life. I am a changed
woman.
Best Wishes,
Leona Helmsley, #5264235
New York State Correctional Facility
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