"Republican/Conservative Light Bulb Jokes"


Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Two, one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

A #2: None, they only screw the poor

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Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

A #1: One, after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the
previous bulb.

A #2: Four, one to do it and three to complain that the old bulb was a lot
better.

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Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, because somebody might come into the room who likes to sit in
the dark.

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Q: How many Dan Quayles (or G.W. Bushes) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but it has to be a pretty dim bulb.

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Q: How many NRA members does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Three, one to give up the old bulb when they pry it from his cold dead
fingers, one to screw it in and pose for an "I'm the NRA" ad while doing so,
and one to complain about the waiting period.

A #2: Two, one to do it and the other one to get his dick out of the gun.

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Q: How many pro-lifers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A #1: Two, one to do it and one to insist that the bulb was lit when the
screwing began.

A #2: Nine, four to block the entrance to the room, four to hold up pictures
of burnt-out bulbs, and one to try and convince the person with the new bulb
to let the room stay dark.

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Q: How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three, but they're really one.

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Q: How many fundamentalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: THE BIBLE DOES *NOT* SAY *ANYTHING* ABOUT LIGHT BULBS!!!!

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Q: How many Ku Klux Klansmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One hundred-one to do it and the others to stand around solemnly and
watch the old bulb burn.

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Q: How many members of the Bush Administration does it take to screw in a
light bulb?

A: Ten...
 1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed
 2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs 
    to be changed
 3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb
 4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either "for" 
    changing the light bulb or "for" darkness
 5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the 
    new light bulb
 6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing 
    on a step ladder under the banner: "Light Bulb Change Accomplished"
 7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting 
    in detail how Bush was literally in the dark
 8. One to viciously smear #7
 9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush 
    has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along
10. One to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing 
    a light bulb and screwing the country.

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