JESUS and ELVIS: Coincidence, or Cosmic Plan?
           ======================================

Biblical scholars have been trying for years to understand the relationship
between two focal points of western spiritual inspiration--Jesus and Elvis.
What follows is the incredible body of evidence they've amassed which
suggests that these two cultural icons could indeed be divinely intertwined.


A. Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor."  (Matthew 22:39)
B. Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

A. Jesus is the Lords's shepherd.
B. Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

A. Jesus was part of the Trinity.
B. Elvis' first band was a trio.

A. Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
B. Elvis surfed. ("Blue Hawaii", Paramount, 1965)

A. Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
B. Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

A. Jesus was resurrected.
B. Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

A. Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John
    7:37)
B. Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" ("Jailhouse Rock", MGM, 1957)

A. Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
B. Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

A. Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
B. Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

A. Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. ("The Gospel According to 
    Matthew")
B. Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. ("Elvis: A Golden 
    Tribute")

A. "[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as 
    snow." (Matthew 28:3)
B. Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightening bolts.

A. Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
B. Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

A. Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
B. Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate 
    Conception High School.

A. Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
B. Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered
    to be his foremost recordings.

A. Jesus was the lamb of God.
B. Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

A. Jesus' Father is everywhere.
B. Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

A. Jesus was a carpenter.
B. Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop.

A. Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
B. Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.

A. Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
B. Elvis Presley has 12 letters.

A. No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
B. No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

A. Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
B. Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.


                  BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!
                  ----------------------------------------

The letters in ELVIS also spell:  "Lives", "Evils", and "Viles".

The letters in JESUS don't spell much of anything else.
But then, neither do the letters in PRESLEY.

However, JESUS CHRIST does transmogrify to:  "Chess Jurist", "Rich
Justess" (close enough), "Sterjc Sushi" (Czech fingerfood), "Such
Sister J" (a possible `friend' of Elvis??), and "Such jest, Sir!"

Further, ELVIS PRESLEY will also spell:  "Less Vile Prey", "Silly
Vespere", "Peerless Vily", and "Riply's Sleeve" (Believe It or Not!)

Moreover, "Christmas" has the same number of letters as "Graceland".
And the three letters shared in common, spell both "arc" and "car".

Lastly--and this is a FidoNet Exclusive--JESUS and ELVIS were
never both seen in the same place at the same time.


It is left it to the reader to make the obvious connection.

======================================================================
This revelation Copyright (c) 1993 by The Jesus/Elvis Connection, Inc.

Return to