TO:   All Male Taxpayers
     FROM:  INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE
SUBJECT:  Increased Tax Payment

Dear Taxpayer:

     The only thing the Internal Revenue Service has not taxed yet is your
pecker.

     This is due to the fact that:

	(a)	40% of the time, it is hanging around unemployed.
	(b)	30% of the time, it is pissed off.
	(c)	20% of the time, it is hard up.
	(d)	10% of the time, it is employed, but it operates in the
                 hole.
  
     Furthermore, it has two dependents, and they are both nuts.

     Accordingly, after Feb 1, 1994, your pecker will be taxed, based on
it's size using the "Pecker-Checker Scale" below to determine your category.
Insert the additional tax under "other taxes", Page 2, Part 5, Line 51 of
your Standard Income Tax Return (form 1040).


           PECKER CHECKER SCALE
           ---------------------------------------
10-12 Inches....Luxury Tax......$50.00
 8-10 Inches.....Poll Tax.............25.00
 5-8  Inches......Privilege Tax.....15.00
 4-5* Inches.....Nuisance Tax.......5.00

*Note: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.


 DO NOT APPLY FOR AN EXTENSION

 Males with peckers in excess of 12 inches should file under "Capitol Gains."

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