RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving while 
intoxicated. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license 
suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not 
available.

MILITARY
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a 
drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas 
Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE
I graduated from Yale University with a low-C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in 
Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil 
in Texas. The company went bankrupt right after I sold my stock. I bought 
the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using 
taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil 
industry, including Enron CEO Ken Lay, I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making 
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston 
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes 
and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. 
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American 
history. With help from my Governor-of-Florida-brother, and my father's 
appointments to the Supreme Court I became President after losing by over 
500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT
I'm the first U.S. President in history to enter office with a criminal 
record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over a 
billion dollars per week. I spent a U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted 
the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in 
U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed 
in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 
12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the 
history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million 
Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any 
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, 
had a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign 
fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world 
record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My 
largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth 
Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud (Enron) in U.S. 
History. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to 
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. 
I've protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or 
prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky 
affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate
rip-offs in U.S. history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in history, refusing intervention 
when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the 
highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed U.S. policy to allow 
convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more 
convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I 
created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the 
history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any U.S. President. I am the 
first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. 
from the Human Rights Commission I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court
of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoner of war" 
detainees and thereby refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I'm the 
first President in history to refuse U.N. election inspectors (during the 
2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest numbers of press 
conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set an 
all-time record for most vacation days in any one-year period. After taking 
off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure 
in my nation's history. I garnered unprecedented sympathy for the U.S. after 
the World Trade Center attacks, and less than a year later made the U.S the 
most hated country in the world, possibly the largest failure of diplomacy 
in world history. I also set the all-time record for most people worldwide to 
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million), shattering the 
record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive 
attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against 
the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world 
community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a 
cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families-in-wartime. 
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking 
Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first 
President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my 
presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am 
supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have 
so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic] to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's 
library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC 
investigations into my insider-trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed 
in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from 
meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy 
policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I am a
member of the Republican Party.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE BEFORE CONTRIBUTING TO MY PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY OR
VOTING REPUBLICAN IN THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.

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