New Disease: Gonorrhea Lectim

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent
strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted
through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called
Gonorrhea Lectim.

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4
years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this
especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim
include, but are not limited to:

- Anti-social personality disorder traits
- Delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor
- Chronic mangling of the English language
- Extreme cognitive dissonance
- Inability to incorporate new information
- Pronounced xenophobia
- Inability to accept responsibility for actions
- Exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado
- Uncontrolled facial smirking
- Ignorance of geography and history
- Tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies
- A strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are
amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few
years ago in a Texas Bush.


Gonorrhea Lectim (say it out loud)

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