I think it's time for the Boy Scouts of America to update their merit
badges to keep them in line with the example being set by the Bush
administration and the Republican party.

New badges:

Lying - This one would have a picture of crossed fingers on it.  To
qualify, one would have to  tell a lie to a person of authority, such
as a teacher or a police officer, without the lie being discovered.

Stonewalling - This one would have a picture of a stone wall.  To
qualify, one would have to deny any knowledge of some incident of
which one should have knowledge.  In qualifying, one is permitted to
say "I don't recall" as many times as necessary.

F----ing Whores  -  A picture of a woman and a one-hundred dollar
bill.  To qualify, one must pay for sexual relations with a member of
the opposite sex after giving a speech stressing family values.  One
may also have sexual relations with a member of the same sex, but only
if they successfully lie about it.

Accepting Bribes - A picture of shaking hands with money between
them.  To qualify, one must accept money to perform an unethical act
which betrays the trust of others.

Paying Bribes - A picture of money changing hands under a table.  To
qualify, one must successfully bribe a person in a position of
authority.

Drug Abuse - A picture of a pile of white powder below a smouldering
joint.  To qualify, one must use drugs while actively supporting harsh
penalties for drug use.

Drunk Driving - A picture of a car with weaving tire marks behind a
martini glass with an olive.  To qualify one must drive drunk without
getting caught.  One may still qualify if they do get caught if they
can persuade the police not to prosecute.

Homosexuality - A picture of two men, one on top of the other.  To
qualify one must have sexual relations with a member of the same sex
after actively condemning homosexuals.

- "SilentOtto"

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