"Anti-GOP Taglines"
--
"The elephant is the perfect symbol for Republicans: they never forget, lead
each other around by the tail, and think everyone should work for peanuts."
--
"The Republican National Committee has announced it's changing the emblem of
the Republican Party - from an elephant to a condom. The Republican National
Chairman explained that the condom more clearly reflects the Party's current
stance... owing to the fact that a condom accepts inflation, halts
production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and
gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. Please make
certain your Republican friends make the appropriate changes on any of their
campaign literature."
--
One can always tell when a Republican is taking Viagra because he gets taller.
--
I got a Republican Bucket today from KFC for the g'kids.... all right wings and
assholes.
--
"Republicans are good for one thing: getting elected every 30 or 40 years so
people can be reminded how terrible they are." - Bob Shrum
--
Little kid got on the school bus today wearing a T-shirt with the slogan
"Proud to be a Democrat." Bus driver asked why he was a Democrat and the kid
said "Because my parents are Democrats." "So," said the bus driver, "What if
your parents were lying, biblethumping, perverted hypocrites? Then what?" The
kid replied: "Then we'd be Republicans."
--
"Much has already been published about the sex life of former President Clinton.
However, little has been reported on the sexual practices of the current
Commander-in-Chief. It has recently been learned that the President and Mrs.
Bush only do it with Laura Bush on top since George W. Bush can only fuck up."
--
Nostradamus Quatrain #652: "From out of the west there will come a great conqurer
who struggles to master his own native tongue. When he nearly chokes to death on
a pretzel, beware...for he will force the masses to accept his mark on the
forehead...that mark is a NASCAR logo."
--
"Conservatives remind me of Yosemite Sam, Wile E. Coyote, and Elmer Fudd.
They bring the guns, the stupidity, and of course, the failure."
--
SAVE AMERICA!: Spay or neuter your Republican!
--
Did you hear about KFC's new Republican Bucket? Full of right wings and assholes.
--
Q. Why did the US Postal Service recall the GW Bush stamps?
A. Users couldn't decide which side to spit on.
--
Q. What do you get when you cross a Republican with a boomerang?
A. A nasty smell you can't get rid of.
--
Rush: omni-ignorant (ignorant on all subjects)
--
Rush: a kinder and gentler Nazi
--
"Pat Buchanan wants a blinder, more Gentile nation." - Dennis Miller
--
"The Religious Right scares the *hell* out of me." - Sen. Barry Goldwater
(R-AZ, ret.)
--
"A conservative is a man who wants the rules changed so that no one can make a
pile the way he did." - Gregory Nunn
--
"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are
conservatives." - John Stuart Mill
--
"If guns are outlawed, how will conservatives win any arguments?" - Unknown
--
"Guns don't kill people -- it's those nasty little bullets!"
--
"Whin guns er outlawed only da gubbermint will have guns!"
--
"I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out
there marked 'Occupant.'" - Unknown
--
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral
philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for
selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith
--
"If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop
telling the truth about them." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
--
The conservative credo: "Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover
again..."
--
"The Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see his way
to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, the the rest of
us ought to get it without asking." - Will Rogers, 1928
--
"Facts are stupid things." - Ronald Reagan
--
"I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964." - Ronald Reagan
--
"If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all." - Ronald Reagan
--
"Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?" - Ronald Reagan
--
"I still think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never
drinks water when Ronnie speaks." - Robin Williams, _Playboy_, 1982
--
"Reagan's platform seems to be: 'Hey, I'm a big friendly guy and I need lots
of sleep.'" - Roy G. Blount
--
"Reaganomics, that makes sense to me. It means if you don't have enough money,
it's because poor people are hoarding it." - Kevin Rooney, _GQ_, 1984
--
"I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was -- an
arctic region covered with ice." - Steve Martin, 1980
--
"Ronald Reagan was the least knowledgeable president I ever met." - Rep.
Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill Jr. (1912-1994)
--
"If Reagan had run unopposed, he would have lost." - Mort Sahl
--
"Ronald Reagan is a triumph of the embalmer's art." - Gore Vidal
--
"If Reagan's the answer, it must have been a very silly question." - Anonymous
--
Republicans: "Only the SOS should happen."
--
W.H.I.N.E. - The Conservative Broadcasting System
--
Call the conservative hotline: 1-800-WHINE.
--
The NRA Loaner: because when you need a gun, 5 days is a LONG LONG time!
--
"By our readiness to allow arms to be purchased at will and fired at whim, we
have created an atmosphere in which violence and hatred have become popular
pastimes." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
--
"With all the violence and murder and killings we've had in the United States,
I think you will agree that we must keep firearms from people who have no
business with guns." - Robert F. Kennedy, May 1968
--
I carry in my mind...a world with an unborn JERRY FALWELL!
--
"This isn't a man who is leaving with his head between his legs." - Dan Quayle
--
"Rush Limbaugh stole my whole act." - Howard Stern
--
A gun kills a child every two hours. - The Children's Defense Fund
--
Conservatism: The worship of dead revolutions.
--
"I do not make 'ad hominem' attacks on Clinton. They all deal with policy --
or character." - Rush Limbaugh/"The Flush Rush Quarterly"
--
"Women should not be allowed to serve on a jury..." - Rush Limbaugh
--
Q: What are "feminazis"?
A: "Ugly women who can't get dates." - Rush Limbaugh
Q: What is a "Rush Limbaugh"?
A: "A fat man who can't get laid." - Feminazis
--
How cold is it? People were seen huddling around Bob Dole to keep warm!
--
"I have told you time and time again the only information highway you need is
this radio show." - Rush Limbaugh
--
"Any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it." - Henry David Thoreau
--
"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue." - Richard
Nixon
--
I'm straight, but not narrow: support gay rights.
--
Practice safe Net surfing: wait, get educated, & stay liberal.
--
We have less than 5 billion years left: REPENT!
--
Republican Health Care Plan: marry a Canadian.
--
"It's a sport in this town to ruin people's lives." - V. Foster
--
Draw this peanut: become an NRA member!
--
Go Limbaugh, and leave the thinking to Rush!
--
Tractor pulls: (n.) Events for people who are smarter than Rush Limbaugh.
--
"Manly yes, but Rush likes it too!"
--
"What would a Bob Dole presidency be like? Boring." - Mario Cuomo
--
"All government bothers my conscience." - Jerry Brown
--
"God doesn't have a legislative agenda." - Colin Powell
--
Phil Gramm's a 7.2 on the sphincter scale.
--
The GOP: "A rising tide lifts all yachts."
--
"You *must* have that child...so we can starve it!" -- The GOP
--
ROTFL: Rave On, Torrid Firearms Lovers!
--
Gingrich, Limbaugh & McVeigh, Inc. - "We cynicize, agitate & demolish."
--
Conservatism: The worship of dead revolutions.
--
GOP vision: "The United States of Pottersville"
--
104th Congress to America: "Was it good for you?"
--
Oink if you like Rush!
--
The NRA loaner: Because when you need a gun, 5 days is a LONG time!
--
Conservatives are REICH wing.
--
Rush is REICH.
--
No Newt is good Newt.
--
Gingrich Health Plan: Instant divorces for dying cancer patients.
--
Go Limbaugh...and leave the thinking to Rush!
--
"The public be damned, I work for my stockhholders!" - C. Vanderbilt
--
GOP 1980: Voodoo economics. GOP 1995: Deja-voodoo economics.
--
FLUSH RUSH & NUKE NEWT
--
Clinton: briefs Packwood: Boxer's
--
What reeks in here? Oh yeah, the conservatives.
--
Gingrich Welfare Plan: $4.5 million book deals for all inner-city youths.
--
NASCAR: "Non-Athletic Sports Created Around Rednecks"
--
Return to |
