Funny Baseball Quotes

by: Aron Wallad

"A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings." - Earl Wilson "When they start the game, they don't yell, 'Work ball.' They say, 'Play ball.'" - Willie Stargell, 1981 "When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back." - Woody Allen "A baseball park is the one place where a man's wife doesn't mind his getting excited over somebody else's curves." - Brendan Francis "There have been only two geniuses in the world. Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare." - Tallulah Bankhead "Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot." - Dick Gregory "What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs." - Harry Caray "Confucius say: Baseball wrong - man with four balls cannot walk." - Author Unknown "With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions." - Pete Rose, 1977 "Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all?" - Vin Scully "Cricket is baseball on valium." - Robin Williams "Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor." - Abe Lemons "The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean "I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally." - Rich Donnelly, minor league manager "Let no one accuse baseball of not being tough on drugs. During his baseball career, Steve Howe was given 7 lifetime suspensions." - Bill Ferraro, baseball fan. "I could never play in New York. The first time I came into a game there, I got into the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors." - Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles "On his own scouting report: "Very deceptive. Slower than he looks." - Joe Garagiola "A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, 'Should I spike myself?'" - Lefty Gomez "Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist." - Hank Greenwald, on Bruce Sutter